Meet Shalini Perumalla

Shalini is a single mother of one son, read her struggle of a bad break up that lead to court before co-parenting.






How old was your son when you and his dad split up?

My son was about 2-1/5 when his father & I separated .


After the split was there an easy transition into co-parenting?

Our separation was extremely hostile. We ended up having to go to court and settled with a co parenting agreement that way .



When he found a new girlfriend was it still easy to co parent?

Honestly , I didn’t like to admit it, but it was easier because, in my experience , women tend to be more responsible and she really jumped in as a bonus mom to Daylen and helped with school projects etc. and it made it easier ! 


We’re you ok with your son being around the new woman? If no, why? And if yes, how long did they date before you met her?

As I mentioned before , my sons father and I separated on very bad terms . He was with another woman , and moved her in about 3 months after he and I split. ( I had also moved on during our relationship so I wasn’t mad as far as his new girl being with my sons father , I was more upset her being around my child.) 


I was upset bc I had so many dreams about how my life was suppose to turn out and all of that was falling apart . 


From afar it looked like my son and his dad and new gf we’re living the life I wanted , with out me and with my son . I met her right when she came into his life so literally 3 months after he and I broke up . 


We didn’t get along very well . I felt like she had opinions about everything and truly felt like she over stepped her boundaries with my son etc . 


How long did it take before you and her became close? 

We became friends in August of 2018 , so a good three years later I believe. In that time he and her had a little boy and by the time we became close they had already split up . 


My sons father and broke up and hurt each other because of both our actions . My response to being treated badly was cheating and I got caught , red handed . 

So he would tell you that it was all me , hindsight says it was both although I take full responsibility for my actions and since have apologized on numerous occasions to him and his family . 


When he and his gf split up , she actually reached out to me months later and validated everything I had been through with my sons father and she realized and saw his true colors . Our relationship was not very healing for either .


I have to give this credit to God in Heaven . I had recently surrendered my heart to God at the time she had reached out to me and had I not , my heart wouldn’t have been ready for her. 


She was the first of the many miracles God has done in my life at that time. 

I brought her to church with me and she gave her life to God and we’ve been attending the same church and bible studies ever since ! 


I’m very close with one of my kids dads other baby mothers and it seems people don’t understand the relationship or always had something negative to say! Do you get the same response?

When we first started talking everyone from my friends to family really didn’t approve of our friendship . They didn’t think I should trust her etc . 


My sons father didn’t like it , nor did his family, They thought we were doing too much.

 

Why do you think it’s important to have that relationship?

This relationship that has turned into a friendship has absolutely changed my life for the better. Our sons get to grow up together and see a functional relationship between the 3 of us .  She is actually one of my closest friends now, more like a sister . 

What advice would you give to “Baby Mamma's” who have issues with one another?

I would say , If you have an issue and it’s not legitimate, like child abuse or neglect etc then it’s likely jealousy . No woman wants to admit they are jealous , we all are . Let’s face it. The best advice I could give is to take those feelings and evaluate what are you jealous of and what can you do to improve your life . Also, something huge that I think has been indoctrinated in us from birth is a need for a man . Don’t get me wrong I can’t wait to be married and I pray for my future husband all the time . But , success doesn’t equal having a man , success is making goals and executing them. Becoming a beautiful person from the inside out. Making memories with your loved ones . Life is so much more then bae's and baecations lol . It’s about love , being love, and showing love to all .

 

17 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All